Wednesday, April 13, 2011

On Having the Flu: Part 2

10.  Spend Friday dosed with ibuprofen and benadryl, sleep hazily.  Text your sister back non-nonsensical things.  Watch everything some more.  Do not want to eat, but do it anyway.  Eat the Tamiflu, sleep.

11. Saturday - Happy Weekend!  This day will be like every other.  Perhaps lose hope and cry hysterically while on the phone with your mother.  Mothers are very brave about this.

12. Sunday - yet a (nother) day of rest.  Keep resting.  Knit some, because your hands don't hurt as much as they did.  Become ambitious and try to sit in a chair while watching a show with your spouse.  End up watching from kitchen floor, because chairs are too something and you feel dizzy.  A half hour show is better in this case than a full hour.

13. Monday you should call out sick from work again.  I know you think you should go, but honey - you can't sit in a chair.  Monday you shower standing up without a hint of fainting, and feel triumphant.

14. Tuesday you go back to work.  Everyone yells welcome back.  You feel hung over, and wonder how you spent the last week sleeping but feel quite un-rested.  If you are lucky, your workplace is a loud one, because you are still coughing up a lot of goo.  Get rid of it.

I forgot to mention this step, from the early days of being sick.  Don't forget it, because it is important.  Decide you are sad and lonely and need a hug.  Hug your dog.  Or, if you are dumb, take your rabbit out of her crate for a good old fashioned snuggle-fest and then flop her feebly back into her cage when she bites your armpit and breaks the skin.  Rabbits are not fully domesticated. . . do not forget this.  On pain of painful armpit puncture.

In other news, have made new discovery.  Yarn store is between office of therapist and home.  I did need buttons.  I may not have needed all this new yarn, but here it is. 

In other other news, super secret very late birthday present is complete.  I. . . may have overreached.  It seems to me a bit in the way of a macaroni valentine, but. . . I will report on my findings.


Post a Comment